12 Ways to Overcome Your Emotional Triggers

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Viktor E. Frankl

We have all had a moment that made us react in a way that did not match who we usually are. That reaction was likely a clue: you were triggered.

A trigger is a word, person, event, or experience that ignites an immediate emotional reaction. When you are triggered, your body engages the survival response: fight, flight, or freeze. Your sympathetic nervous system is trying to save you from harm, which is why the reaction feels so passionate. Triggered reactions are hard on relationships. One of many reasons to work on them is this: God asks us to love one another and to live in peace.

You do not have to spend the rest of your life at the mercy of the next trigger, or the fallout that follows. Self-awareness is the first step to being a better you. Are you ready to take the wheel?

12 ways to take control of your emotional triggers

1. Identify the trigger. When you find yourself overreacting or feeling great discomfort, ask what just happened to cause this feeling.
2. Seek the source. Once you have identified what caused the reaction, take a moment to consider where the feeling may have originated. It may take peeling a few layers, or a few decades. This can turn into an ah-ha moment.
3. Ask if the reaction is attached to old stories. For instance, an outdated belief that this experience means something it does not mean, or no longer means.
4. Have methods for self-regulation. Prepare ahead of time. Come up with ways to self-regulate the next time you are triggered.
5. Adjust your inner critic's dialogue. When you notice negative talk in your head, do not fight it. Gently correct it with accuracy and truth.
6. Practice healthy, appropriate responses. Predetermine how you are going to respond when triggers provoke you going forward.
7. Take a moment to breathe. Get in the habit of not reacting right away when something upsets you. Breathe slowly and deeply while you recall your better response.
8. Have rational expectations beforehand. If you know a particular person, event, or experience often triggers you, expect it and be prepared so you are not caught off guard.
9. Maintain boundaries. Set and keep healthy boundaries that preserve your peace and your standards.
10. Practice acceptance. Do not beat yourself up when you fall into a trigger trap. You are human. Growth takes time and practice. A trigger is a useful clue that something inside needs tending to. "I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10
11. Ask God for help. This should actually be the first thing you do anytime you are challenged. God wants us to ask. It nurtures our relationship with Him and lets Him show you how powerful His love is for you. He can help you understand why you are being triggered, and He can help you overcome it.
12. Seek help from a professional. Personal development is most successful when you hire a coach, especially if you feel stuck. If your triggers cause emotional pain so deep that you cannot maintain daily responsibilities, consider seeing a therapist to resolve deep-rooted issues.

You were created for peace and connection

The Bible states that you are created in the likeness of God. That likeness is found in your gift of free will and your desire for connection. You have free will to choose everything you think, say, and do. Those choices mold your life. You are also created for connection, so working on your weak spots matters. It helps you develop and keep better relationships with others and with God.

Foster your relationship with God by talking to Him about your trouble areas. "He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds." Psalm 147:3

We build better connections with others by increasing our inner peace. "The peace that Christ gives is to guide you in the decisions you make; for it is to this peace that God has called you together in the one body." Colossians 3:15

Life is best when you are in a good relationship with God and with others. Unhappiness shows up when you neglect those two key parts of your design. Nurture both by seeking the peace He has already offered you.

Peace be with you.

Building and maintaining self-love and confidence is an ongoing journey. To begin working with me, just click here.