The One Way to Love, Miracles, and Your Dreams

"The decisions I made as an eight-year-old trying to protect myself and my sister became not only a coping system but a way of life that I forgot to outgrow."

~ Sharon Stone, The Beauty of Living Twice

Most of us create these coping systems as children to avoid pain or discomfort. Carried into adulthood, they become unconscious blocks or self-sabotaging habits. The work of self-discovery is how we find the place where our true self was traded for what we thought was safety.

Perhaps those systems did buy some safety in childhood. As adults, independent and hungry for more, those same habits and stories are what stump us. Self-sabotage, the inner critic, and old stories cling like a bee to honey. That may be why Aristotle's words are still among the most quoted in history:

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." ~ Aristotle

Why don't more people seek to understand who they truly are? It is a daunting question, and it invites another: how?

There is no one map, but there is a door

Wouldn't it be great if there were simple step-by-step directions? There are proven steps that work, and still this journey looks different for every person. Starting at the beginning is always a good start. For many, it looks too painful. It seems simpler to keep living as they are than to revisit the past in order to get it out of the present.

"People don't change until their desire to change is greater than their desire to remain the same." ~ said by many, in a variety of ways

That is why so many people have to hit rock bottom, or at least something pretty uncomfortable, before they are inspired enough to do something about it. Nothing grows while nestled in comfort. The way to truth, healing, joy, and freedom runs through the discomfort.

Familiar is not the same as safe

We are masters at avoiding pain. We are wired that way. It is a protection mechanism. Unfortunately, we develop these self-protecting systems as small, naive, innocent children. Habits become behaviors. Behaviors become beliefs. Beliefs become a life.

We are also wired to believe that familiarity equals safety, so the old ways feel safe even when they are costing us everything we want. What once protected us from pain now protects us from a better life.

There is a mysterious fear that keeps us from looking inward long enough to resolve this. And yet, as George Addair once said:

"Everything you've ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear."

Not much of a sales pitch for doing the work, is it? Look at the whole picture, though, and it really is. Temporary discomfort is no match for the reward: freedom to pursue our dreams and live with joy. That is not a promise of a problem-free life. It is a promise that the bumps feel different when you are no longer running outdated beliefs and sabotaging systems.

Love is the lesson, and the miracle

I believe each of us is on this planet to learn a lesson. I believe that at the center of our greatest pain lie our greatest lessons. I believe at the heart of each lesson is love. First, to love all of ourselves, so that we can truly love others.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Why not pay the price to harness it? After all, this is where miracles are born, and where dreams finally have room to breathe.

Building and maintaining self-love and confidence is an ongoing journey. To begin working with me, just click here.