ICING THE CAKE OF YOUR LIFE- LEGACY

Finding Fulfillment & Building a Legacy In the Second Half of Life

During a recent session with one of my clients, we discussed the array of changes that women must navigate between their 40's and 60's, a stage she so brilliantly refers to as the "Victory Lap."

For example, women experience:

-Hormonal Changes (menopause)

-Body, Beauty & Health Changes

-Marital Changes (divorce, death, or dating)

-Relationship Changes (loss of friends, illness)

-Parent's Needs Change (becoming caretakers or dealing with loss)

-Parental Role Changes (parenting adults, becoming grandparents)

-Workplace Changes (loss of job, retirement, or change of career)

With so many big transitions it isn't hard to see why this stage of life can be so daunting.  While there is a general idea of how we must live the first half of life, there is no guidance for the second half.  There needs to be a "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book for middle-aged, menopausal, divorced and dating, caregiving empty nesters.  

One of the underlying reasons for overwhelm and discouragement is that so much of the way we define our value in the first half of our lives is based on relationships.  When those relationships change, feelings of isolation, confusion, and disappointment can manifest.

Psychoanalyst Carl Jung put it this way, "Wholly unprepared [we] cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning: for what was great in the morning will be little at the evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening become a lie."

J. Walter Thompson referred to those over 50 as the "Elastic Generation."  He focused on their resilience and refusal to grow old like their parents.

Mary Catherine Bateson calls being over 50, "Adulthood II."  She explains that since there is no script for this stage we need to develop the skill of improvisation.

While there is no trick to avoid the changes and challenges that are to come, there are things we can do to set ourselves up for less frustration and more fulfillment.  As you enter the second half of life, allow yourself time to stop and cocoon during the transition.  This is a period of transformation and going forward with the same expectations and outlook that you had in the previous stage invites exhaustion.  Take a break from social influences so that you can really tune into your heart.  

Make self-care a priority.  While the second half of life requires a lot more physical care than the first half, most of it is necessary maintenance.  Be sure to go a step further and pamper yourself as well.

Mindset is key in all chapters of life.  To find more fulfillment amidst the challenges that come later in life, think legacy.  Begin to clarify your hopes for the rest of your life by imagining the legacy you want to leave.  You can use your legacy to inspire the way you respond to the bumps in the road.  This is when you get to purposefully create much of how you will be remembered. What do you want your legacy to be?

It is my thought that our entire life is our legacy.  And if your life was a cake, the last chapter is an opportunity to ice the cake of your life.  It is about transforming into the wiser you.  The you with a lifetime of experiences.  The you that is not who you were in the first half, but the you with all the wisdom acquired from the first half.  This is the you that decorates your legacy.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones.  A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you”.  Shannon L. Alder

6 ways to design your legacy during your "Victory Lap":

1.  Be Legacy Minded.  Decide what is most important to you in life and live accordingly.  Be a model of that and support people and causes you believe in.  Lovingly stand up for what you believe in.  

2.  Record Family Traditions and Stories.  Create a collection of family recipes, photos, or a family tree for future generations to enjoy.  Ex. There is a great company that emails you a question each week, you can answer it and even include pictures, and at the end of the year, they create a hardcover storybook for you.  Click here to check it out.

3.  Write Your Legacy Letter.  Write a letter, journal, or memoir of your life.  Share your dreams as well as your gratitude.  Leave a blessing for your loved ones by expressing things that often go unsaid.  Ex. Get a personalized, timeless journal that future generations will enjoy opening up and reading.  Click here for some great ones.

4.  Pursue Your Passions.  Your future generations and friends may not share the same passions with you, but your enthusiasm and fire for your passions will inspire them to pursue theirs.  If you don't know what your passion is, start trying new things until you do! 

5.  Be a Mentor to Others.  Share your unique wisdom and experience with others who could use it.  Even if there are things you wish you would have done differently or neglected to do, you can inspire younger generations not to miss out on those things.  Mentoring is an opportunity to convert your regrets into a win!  When wisdom is humbly shared its value multiplies.  

6.  Pray for Future Generations.  It is hard to digest some of the changes and challenges the world is going through.  After all, by this point, you’ve lived half a century.  You’ve seen drastic social, technological, and scientific developments that were a lot easier to digest in your younger years.  Instead of feeling displaced or helpless, find purpose in your contribution of prayer for future generations.  Be a light full of hope. 

One of the most important things to remember is that our purpose changes with each stage in life.  We just need to remember to adjust our software along the way, maybe even reboot.  

I hope this helps you prepare for the improv because you are the star!